I shouldn't admit this, but I can be
really bad at brushing my teeth...especially in the summer when I
don't have a regular routine. So if (and when) I skip 3 or 4
brushings (yuck...I know...it's one of those things I need to work
on), my teeth start to remind me by getting this grimy feeling that I
can't stand. So I brush them and I keep remembering to brush them
for a while...until one night when I'm too tired and just want to
crawl into bed, so I do. Then the next morning rolls around and I
don't bother with the “morning routine” because I'm just going to
spend the day at home. And the pattern continues...
On the other hand, I am really good at
remembering to eat. I don't ever have the problem of forgetting 3 to
4 meals. My body reminds me to take care of this when I give it the
chance, but more often than not, I'm on top of it before the
grumbling starts. I have never been physically malnourished.
But what about spiritually
malnourished? Well...it's more like the teeth brushings than the
eating for me. In fact, this too happens more often than I'd like to
admit. For me, spiritual malnourishment happens more during the
school year...when I'm in that routine...a busy one. Many days are
just too busy to take the time to reflect on God's Word or pray. I
probably get those reminders from day 1, but God seems to whisper
before He starts making the kind of commotion I need to stop and take
notice. I start getting that grimy feeling that I want to scrape out
of my life. I become frustrated more easily. I lose motivation.
Negativity creeps in and sets up house in my mind. Gossip doesn't
bother me as much, and I even pass some along...
I've been there. I'm there now. I
can't seem to make my spiritual life a priority. I have been
him-hawing about starting a Bible study at church that would take a
24 week commitment. I know I need it for myself and I know that
others want me to start it. But my motivation to get anything
(except read a fictional book) done the past few months has been
terribly lacking. I am even “planning” a retreat for the woman’s
ministry I am involved in at my parish...it is three weeks away and I
have done virtually nothing to get ready for it.
But this morning during Mass I was
convicted...I shouldn't be surprised...I asked for it. In fact,
before Mass began my prayer was something along the lines of, “Lord,
send your Holy Spirit down to light a fire under my butt...” I
prayed that I would renew my relationship with God and be motivated
to share the Good News with others. During Mass, God spoke to me in
my heart and mind. I know now that I am to start the “big
commitment Bible study,” but offer it in four 6-week sessions. I
love Jesus and I want that to shine through to other. I have some
fixing to do in my own spiritual life and leading this Bible study
will help me with that. It all makes sense. I'm sure that God has
been nudging me to get my life back on track for a while. That's
probably why I have kept considering this study in the first place
instead of opting for a shorter, less in-depth one. I've also had
that grimy feeling that I need to get back into God's Word, but it
hasn't been bad enough to do something about it. Today, I felt God
speaking to me...I am sure of it. I can admit that I haven't felt
His presence in my life for a while...sometimes we go through
spiritual “dry-spells”...even Mother Teresa did.
God “brushed” my heart today to get
rid of the grime...I am re-energized to let Him lead me. I still
think this Bible study is a scary big commitment, but I know that the
Lord wants me to take it on, and He will be there beside me to carry
me through it.
As much as we're the same, we are also different - or maybe just our lives are at different places - 'cause my dry time is more in the summer, I think because the kids are home and there is no routine. I have more of a routine during school time and have been better at God time while they are there (not that that is evident right now, but it will be soon when my bible study starts next week). I know how you feel (twins seem to feel that way, right?) and I'm right there with you, Sis.
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