Sunday, January 15, 2012

Brushing Away the Grime

I shouldn't admit this, but I can be really bad at brushing my teeth...especially in the summer when I don't have a regular routine. So if (and when) I skip 3 or 4 brushings (yuck...I's one of those things I need to work on), my teeth start to remind me by getting this grimy feeling that I can't stand. So I brush them and I keep remembering to brush them for a while...until one night when I'm too tired and just want to crawl into bed, so I do. Then the next morning rolls around and I don't bother with the “morning routine” because I'm just going to spend the day at home. And the pattern continues...

On the other hand, I am really good at remembering to eat. I don't ever have the problem of forgetting 3 to 4 meals. My body reminds me to take care of this when I give it the chance, but more often than not, I'm on top of it before the grumbling starts. I have never been physically malnourished.

But what about spiritually malnourished?'s more like the teeth brushings than the eating for me. In fact, this too happens more often than I'd like to admit. For me, spiritual malnourishment happens more during the school year...when I'm in that routine...a busy one. Many days are just too busy to take the time to reflect on God's Word or pray. I probably get those reminders from day 1, but God seems to whisper before He starts making the kind of commotion I need to stop and take notice. I start getting that grimy feeling that I want to scrape out of my life. I become frustrated more easily. I lose motivation. Negativity creeps in and sets up house in my mind. Gossip doesn't bother me as much, and I even pass some along...

I've been there. I'm there now. I can't seem to make my spiritual life a priority. I have been him-hawing about starting a Bible study at church that would take a 24 week commitment. I know I need it for myself and I know that others want me to start it. But my motivation to get anything (except read a fictional book) done the past few months has been terribly lacking. I am even “planning” a retreat for the woman’s ministry I am involved in at my is three weeks away and I have done virtually nothing to get ready for it. 

But this morning during Mass I was convicted...I shouldn't be surprised...I asked for it. In fact, before Mass began my prayer was something along the lines of, “Lord, send your Holy Spirit down to light a fire under my butt...” I prayed that I would renew my relationship with God and be motivated to share the Good News with others. During Mass, God spoke to me in my heart and mind. I know now that I am to start the “big commitment Bible study,” but offer it in four 6-week sessions. I love Jesus and I want that to shine through to other. I have some fixing to do in my own spiritual life and leading this Bible study will help me with that. It all makes sense. I'm sure that God has been nudging me to get my life back on track for a while. That's probably why I have kept considering this study in the first place instead of opting for a shorter, less in-depth one. I've also had that grimy feeling that I need to get back into God's Word, but it hasn't been bad enough to do something about it. Today, I felt God speaking to me...I am sure of it. I can admit that I haven't felt His presence in my life for a while...sometimes we go through spiritual “dry-spells”...even Mother Teresa did. 

God “brushed” my heart today to get rid of the grime...I am re-energized to let Him lead me. I still think this Bible study is a scary big commitment, but I know that the Lord wants me to take it on, and He will be there beside me to carry me through it.